My husband Don made a comment the other day that caused me to pause. He said, "It's like you're turning into a new person." My response was, "I hope you like her!" He smiled. I mentioned in my previous blog that I'm on a journey. And I can honestly say it's sticking. Many times I attempt to make changes in my life only to have my good intentions go to the way side after a couple weeks or a month.
February was a turning point for me. I received an incredibly deep healing from the Lord in my heart. I can't really explain it but to say that I finally came to the realization that I count. That to be kind to myself and do things for myself doesn't mean I'm selfish or self centered. As a result a couple things have come out of that. One has been that starting in March I began exercising. Now that may not sound very earth shattering, but in the past I've been quick to admit that I have an aversion to exercise of any kind. It was part of my wounding. In the past (ancient past), I ran for other people and for their approval rather than out of enjoyment for myself.
Now, I'm exercising because I want to. I enjoy it! I can't believe I'm saying that! I actually do want to run again. Not for anyone but me! My hope is to be able to run a 5k by next spring.
I asked Don, when was the last time I've ever stuck to an exercise plan of any kind. His response..."Not since I've known you." Yaay God!
My other struggle that God is guiding me through is more obvious...my weight. I have struggled with my weight my whole life. It's been like this heavy weight around my neck. I love food! There's no other way to say it! But God is teaching me that I can love food but express it in ways other than eating. I'm not looking to become a health nut or a vegan (nothing wrong with either of those life styles...they just aren't me). But I want to have a healthier relationship with food. I've begun cooking! I mean really cooking...not just throw chicken nuggets or a frozen pizza into the oven and pull it and call it dinner.
I love working with the fresh flavors and new recipes. My family loves the food too. I feel like I'm providing something good for me as well as for them. To have fun doing it is a real bonus.
So I'm not sure where all of this is going to go, but I'm excited about this adventure. I don't have any goals to lose this much weight in this amount of time. Because I don't want it to become a chore or something unenjoyable. I'm taking one day at a time and celebrating each step forward.
I can do this! I count!!
